i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
