ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
