woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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