i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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