brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
