we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
