Barsexuality is the new black.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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