my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
