Nicole vs. Life
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
