why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
