Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
