Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
