Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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