Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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