I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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