Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
