Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
