We won't sleep together?
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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