And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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