Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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