even my farts smell like vagina
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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