I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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