We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Non-Jews are for practice
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
