I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
