Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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