belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
