where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
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