i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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