i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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