Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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