Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize