I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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