I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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