i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
