She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
