Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize