She said her name was "party"
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
