Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
