Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
