so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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