Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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