David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
