I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
