Don't make out with my wife yet
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
