I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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