You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
