kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Randomize
