So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
