doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
