Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
