My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
