So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
