your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
