Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.

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(510): View more from California

I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk

(415): View more from California

yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts

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(631): View more from New York

she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.

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(816): View more from Missouri

It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.

(-1816): View more from

Probably is probably an understatement.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM

(617): View more from Massachusetts

cool u want pads or tampons

(781): View more from Massachusetts

tampons please

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