I CAN MOONWALK!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
