that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
