We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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