im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You ate ashes out of my bong
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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