No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
