Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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