Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
