So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
