I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
